Relationships and Greatness

How would you define a girl that brings out your greatness?

A friend of mine had this to say on the matter:

Because I would think that you won’t know that until you get to know her, but that can’t happen until you choose to start going out with.  Basically at this point the “infatuation” stage would kick in and the higher concentration of dopamine pumped out by your hypothalamus would indeed make you think she was bringing out your greatness. Ironically, after 1 year (or maybe 2) of going out you would start to believe that she brings out the worst in you.  But how could such a turn of events have occurred?  Could it be that your hypothalamus pulled the wool over your eyes?  Or did she change?  Or was she putting on an act on at first to win you over, but now that the comfort level is high, she brings out all her issues and needs and tries to change you (since invariably most girls would like to change guys to make them “better” people).  With all of these thoughts swirling around you realize that things must be put to an end before she eats away the core of your being.  And so you end it.  At this point the sudden drop in the chemical that had made you feel attached (whether or not it was happy attachment by the end) causes you to experience withdrawal symptoms: extreme loneliness, depression, disgust.  Assuming you can get over all of this without going back to the girl that clearly would not have changed during the interlude, the chemicals will start to subside and you will go back to being powerfully single once more.

Of course there is another possibility.  Perhaps, the girl will actually end up bringing out your “greatness”, it may not be clear how this happens at first because you will first have to get past your dopamine induced high.  Eventually though, you will realize that she helps you improve yourself in ways that you would not have reached on your own.  She does not look to change you but her influence changes you in spite of that, and it does so for the better.  It turns out there was no act on her part and you end up with someone real who develops a strong and unbreakable bond with you.  And then, just like that, she’s taken away from you, and once again, you are alone.  But, if you are fortunate, that will not be a part of the story, and you will reach a point when nothing and no one can take away from what you have achieved.  Personally, I’m a bit uncomfortable stating such an idealistic view (which is why I had to throw in that negative sentence), but one can always hope.

This leaves us at the final possibility, remaining alone in the first place.  You have always seen the merits of such an existence, once you moved past any feelings of loneliness or inadequacy.  No strings attached, you are nobody’s puppet, you go where you want to go, and do what you want to do.  You don’t have to deal with the added burden of pleasing another human being and you can focus on the one person that has always been most important, yourself.  Whether you seek to improve yourself through physical activity, learning, philosophy or religion, you will be able to focus to the point where the best of your abilities are acting in unison for the improvement of the superior being.  Strength, intelligence, depth, a better view on the meaning of the world will all be in reach for one that is not held down.  And you will see yourself as a superior being, your ability to focus on issues other people do not find the time for will give you a higher ground from which you will look down with arrogance (mild or abrasive).  All of the things you will gain will make you impressive indeed, but what will impress you even more once you get older is how meaningless it all becomes to you.  So much will have been gained but there will not be anyone suitable to share it with because no effort was put into cultivating a healthy relationship.  And when you lie alone and no one is there to praise your arrogant spirit, how long will it last?  How long will it be before it shrivels away and falls to the very earth that allowed it to reach such heights?  When facing their existence with no one at their side, would such a person feel “powerful”?

Those are the options as I see them.

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